She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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