even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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