I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
