Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
