I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
