I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
