honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
