I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
being pregnant is like rehab
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize