It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
