im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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