yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
