Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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