do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
