So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize