Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
