Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize