i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize