Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize