So drunk its hurt
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
