An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i think im in europe. pls send help
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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