Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
