you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We don't watch enough power rangers
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