So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
