i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
