just survived the first fart of the relationship.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
