no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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