okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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