you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You ruined the universe
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize