Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
