but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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