I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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