So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
