This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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