Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
