i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
