Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
We smell like vodka and hangover
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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