Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize