I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
