i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
We are all done wearing pants today
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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