Can Purell be used as lube?
babies were throwing up all over the place
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
