Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
