What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
