Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
