this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
