Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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