i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
