Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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