Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
