ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize