i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize