Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
