I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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