what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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