like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
