used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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