Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize