He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
3pm strippers are depressing
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
