I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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