i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
