No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
