Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just found puke in my bra..
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
