The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
