I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Will exercising make me less horny?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
