dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
someone get that fucking seahorse.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
