That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
