Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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